Happy May. I hope this finds you enjoying masked life.
Is this face mask thing going to continue through NY Fashion Week? And event season? I mean, it’s fine, but I’ve already been tested for the virus, according to my Mom’s reporting, so I don’t know why I should have to live like an incubus of janky viral plague.
Anyway, there have been some important milestones since my last post. Here goes:
I. The first milestone:
I went to see my friends at the Animal Medical Center and resume my weekly physical therapy appointments (Mom calls it ‘Buns of Steel’)!
Michele, my nanny, told Mom that she could not believe how much I’ve improved in the past two weeks. We went on a big adventure this weekend, after my second Saturday back in rehab: I feel great and look amazing, if I do say so myself.
Rehab isn’t just physical therapy. Before ‘The Invisible [Chinese] Enemy,’ as Uncle Donald calls it, I was also interning for Eve and Stephie on the 8th floor, where I go for Rehab.
I love learning how to interact with AMC clients. It’s the perfect use of all of my ‘Nightingale Girl’ skills.
The problem, now, is that there aren’t any clients allowed in the building. So I don’t get to use my ‘Nightingale Girl’ skills.
While I went to visit the 8th floor, Mom abandoned me to run errands.
Since there are no clients in the building and, for some reason, Eve and Stephie don’t trust me with the phones, I have offered, instead, to be in charge of dispensing the peanut butter.
Back in the city just in time to enjoy the tulips. All Lilly’ed out. Where is everyone?
When Mom and I arrived at the AMC, there were funny-looking tents in the garage where our friend in the garage usually parks my car, so mom just parked it in the front, instead. And then we saw Alicia! Someone came outside to get me (Mom explained that I require cookies to proceed to the elevators) and then we were off!
While I was doing important work and working out upstairs, Mom’s appreciation for Greenwich, where Citarella is the size of Yankee stadium and there are no lines, was amplified and she was reminded why we only visit the city for hours at a time. This was the line outside of Citarella on 74th Street.
I had such a good time and those birds are as good as nuggets!
II. The Second Milestone: I am finally shedding some pounds!
This is hard for me to admit, but I really let myself go this winter.
The signs were flashing red.
Nonetheless, I have now lost THREE POUNDS since March. My peak weight was 76 1/4 lbs. That was when Grandpa started calling me “Fat Girl.” Then, I went to see Dr. Duffy in mid-April and I was down to 74. And I just saw Dr. Duffy again today and I am down to 73!
With mom working and traveling so much and so many opportunities to take advantage of different people feeding me, I just couldn’t help myself.
In any event, I realized that my bird-murdering skills were going to be seriously compromised if I continued on the path I was on.
Grandpa was calling me “Fat Girl.” And, then, at my re-check in early March, Dr. Hart told Mom that I was “getting a little fat.” Something had to change.
As a famous blogger, influencer, blonde, and professional athlete/bird-decapitator, I hold myself to the highest standards of citizenship. I know that dogs everywhere idolize me. I know I owe it to my fans to get back to my ideal weight. And I know that the more weight I gain, the less successful I will be at decapitating birds. Mom told me that if I didn’t get back to 65 lbs by July, she would take me to see Dr. Aronne. Mom has been seeing him since 2007 and she is his ‘star patient.’ She was even on the jacket of his book. Harvey Weinstein used to be his other ‘star patient’, but I think he’s keep that on the DL these days. Anyway, I can be a star patient, too.
I definitely have at least another six pounds to go, but at least I am headed in the right direction. Now that the pool is open and I am back in physical therapy, I think the pounds are gonna fly..
III. The third milestone: Georgia reopened!
Finally, I thought I would mention that my birthday is now less than three months away. July 13, people. Mark it on your calendars. Celebrations will likely begin on Friday, July 10 and continue through the weekend.
Especially because I got out over my skis last year with the celebrating and landed in Emergency (or, as some call it, “the Nellie Brill suite” because KBVC keeps a room on standby for me), I need to make up for all of the cake I missed out on while I was on IV fluids.
That’s all for now. Wish me luck on the scale!